YOU CAN'T PUSH THE RIVER

YELLOW?
I don't think I have ever encountered so many highly paid professionals with such incompetence and flawed logic abiding by even more absurdly flawed systems than this banking and housing industry.
(Except of course for Andy, my Realtor ... poor thing ... everyone involved (from the Title company, sellers, and lenders) has been so lazy and misinformed, he has had to do everyone's job for them!)

There is a LOT of leg work to get through the house buying process. I say I am doing this on my own, and it feels very scary and lonely taking this kind of project face on as a "single" woman. Mainly because I always dreamed of doing this with my partner. But I remind myself often:
1.) This isn't my forever-home, this is a really smart and interesting investment opportunity, as well as an elaborate sculpture project! Of course I can handle it alone! I will still make a real home with my lifepartner in the near future, probably somewhere else, off the grid, on a farm.
2.) I am not alone. By any means. I couldn't have done it at all without Andy's professional assistance. But I also couldn't have gotten though it without the patience, support, home cooked meals, advil, attentive ears, cheer-leading, laughter and love from Brad, my dear friends, and My Mom!!!

YOU CAN'T PUSH THE RIVER
This is my baby brother's favorite proverb. And it is one of the wisest.
This house has been a great lesson in allowing for the ebb and flow of life to do its thing. I certainly can't control it. I don't mean to side with destiny by any means. I am a firm believer in free will, self-manifestation... with a dash or two of complete randomness for spice . I think there is a way to navigate within all of these.

There is a fine line between hunting down the thing you really want, and mastering a stillness that even a skittish, feral bird would approach.
Sometimes letting go of my attachment to a very specific goal actually brings me closer to it. For the last few weeks, I have been pretty much holding my breath because of some pretty substantial obstacles that arose.

The bank pulled the plug on my loan.
I had to arrive at a place where, if we couldn't find a way to fix it within limits that I felt comfortable with, I would be fine walking away from it with a smile still on my face (despite 3grand lost on my part). Had I been too fixated on "getting the house", I might have tried to stretch my comfort level to a dangerous reach. I needed to recognize my limits and be willing to walk away from non-ideal terms. I had to be able to let go of it - without giving up. I was still fighting for it, but without attaching my sense of self or sense of happiness to either outcome.

Like a river wearing on a stone - time and patience (and an awesome Realtor on my side), has worn the selling price on this little house into a smooth, rounded and manageable 56K less than they were initially asking for!
I am back in the game! And the result of not pushing the river, but preparing for the bends have all been to my benefit. This is actually the 2nd time I literally LOST the house. Both times resulted in me getting back in for even CHEAPER!

Put your ear up to the wind next Friday, you might hear the sound of jinggling keys !!!
Brad has promised to chef some killer BBQ at the first opportunity for a housewarming party!